Posts Tagged ‘Cruise’

This Has Happened to Everyone

February 9, 2010

We have all done it. You’re on vacation. You want someone to take your picture. You scout out the crowd, looking for that person who looks kind enough to stop what they are doing for a second to take your picture. You hand them the camera and instantly know, you’ve picked the wrong person. 

 It reminds me of the time I was standing in front of the leaning tower of Pizza with my two sisters in Italy. We asked a young Chinese guy to take our picture. We were goofing off, leaning to the side like the tower as he took the picture and laughing. When he was done, we decided to make small talk and asked what the Chinese characters on his tee-shirt said. He laughed with embarrassment and read, “Stay away from me, I don’t want to talk to you.”

The worst is when you’ve picked the wrong person but your stuck going through the drill because you can’t  just fire a volunteer. This happened to us on our cruise and we were patient while this well-meaning lady first learned where to look through the view finder and then where to push the button. We’ve all been there, smiles starting to freeze, waiting patiently, knowing this one is going in the trash.

Picture one: “Oh, oh, I’m so sorry, I might have cut off your heads.”

Picture two: “I’m not sure if I got you this time.”

Picture three: We grab the camera before she can adjust her bifocals to see the result, exclaiming, “This one is great! Thank you SO much! Just perfect!”

Funny Things Actually Said by Carnival Cruise Passengers- Part 2

February 2, 2010

As I mentioned last week, my friend who works at a ski resort always said that people leave their brains at home when they go on vacation. Well educated, intelligent customers told to grip the ski pole like so who just stand there looking confused. Seasoned business travelers who can’t find their passport when it is time to clear customs. It happens.

On Carnival cruise lines, they started keeping a list of the funniest things said by carnival passengers. I shared some last week but saved my favorites for today.

A customer in his room has a question. He picks up his phone to call the customer service desk. Because so many employees are from different parts fo the world, they are required to identify themselves and where they are from. Lorna at the ship’s customer service desk takes the call. “Hello. This is Lorna from South Africa. How may I assist you?” Customer responds: “South Africa? Good gosh, how did I get through to South Africa? This is gonna cost a fortune!” Click.

Keeping  in mind the large amounts of alcohol typically consumed on these ships, another customer service call: Even before the chance to identify herself, the customer service representative hears a frantic voice saying, “Can you send someone to help me out of my room? There only two doors. One is the bathroom and the other has a ‘do not disturb’ sign!”

One customer service representative answers the phone to hear a sweet old lady asking, “Can you send someone to my room to fix my microwave? It seems to be broken.” Microwaves are strictly forbidden as they are a fire safety hazard and the representative is worried that someone has brought their own microwave. She calls security and has someone immediately check on the situation. The security officer went to the room to find a frustrated lady with two pieces of pizza in her cabin safe!

My favorite, a lady who raised her hand at the end of an informational talk to ask, “What religion are those people with the little patches behind their ears?” Answered by a sarcastic man in the front row, “They must be Apache!”

Funny Things Said by Carnival Cruise Passengers

January 26, 2010

My friend who works at a ski resort always said that people leave their brains at home when they go on vacation. Well educated, intelligent customers told to grip the ski pole like so who just stand there looking confused. Seasoned business travelers who can’t find their passport when it is time to clear customs. It happens.

On Carnival cruise lines, they started keeping a list of the funniest things said by carnival passengers. Here are a few:

“What do you suppose the altitude is here?”

“Are they using generators on board to supply electricity?” No, there’s a long extension cord reaching all the way from Galveston.

“Does the wait staff sleep here on the ship?” No, they are air flighted in by helicopter when you get hungry.

“Do those stairs go up or down?” Hmmmm

“What do you do with the ice carvings after they’ve melted?”

“May I please request a room on the sunny side of the ship?”

“Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?” No, haven’t perfected that technology yet.

I hope these made you chuckle. I’m saving my favorites for next week, so stop back by!

Our Cruise

January 25, 2010

We’ve been back from our trip for exactly a week and already it seems like a lifetime ago!

It rained part of the time but this didn’t put a damper on our plans. The dining room is still open, rain or shine! We ate, read books, played backgammon, slept in, went to shows and ate some more.

Our day in Cozumel was perfect! We spent the day on a beach with an all you can eat Mexican buffet, kayaking, swimming pool, paddle boats, snorkeling and water trampoline.

No, we weren’t bouncing around on the water trampoline as we likely would have 7 years ago on our honeymoon. We spent most of the day reading, eating or sleeping but it was great to do it with sand in our toes!

An added bonus of the trip was the shock of running into these dear high school friends who were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary!

Jeff was the first of our group of friends to get married and Bethany is the reason why. They are perfect, perfect, perfect for each other in an amazing way that you only see once and awhile. They bring out the best in each other in a way that can only point to one conclusion. As they grew up in separate places, not yet knowing each other, God had to have smiled, knowing how perfectly they would compliment each other when their lives finally intersected. Congratulations on 10 years and raising twins while keeping your sanity!

Faith Cruise

January 18, 2010

J and I have been on a 5 day cruise and will be returning this morning. How in the world to two people living on a stipend end up on a cruise? It all started last spring when I went to the Home and Garden show. There was a salesman there trying to get me to go on his condo time share tour. I could tell by the caliber of vacation he was offering as a reward for listening to his presentation that our income wouldn’t qualify and he was wasting his time. So, I stopped him in the middle of his sales pitch and explained that we wouldn’t qualify. Don’t waste your time. In fact, we had no income. This interested him. How does someone have no income? I explained the whole law school living off loans thing and he said, “Girl, you need a vacation.” He started marching to another booth so, like a dummy, I followed.

He was taking me to another time share sales booth but this one was for a lower-income bracket. Their normal pitch is that if you come listen to the 90 min. presentation, they will reward you with a $40 debit card for your gas and a 5 night hotel stay in Hawaii. This is good for them- hardly anyone would actually end up cashing in on the Hawaii trip as the airline tickets to get there are outside of the normal price range of those who they are preying on. BUT, as a referral from the other time share guy, we were also awarded a cruise. All we would have to pay was the $150 port taxes. Now, this was starting to sound worthwhile.

As you can imagine, J was a huge skeptic about blowing our Saturday doing this. And, it was a brutal day. The 90 min. presentation turned into 5 hours as they tried to wear us down and manipulate us into buying a time share. They leveraged our kids against us, knowing they were tired and hungry, just hoping we would give in. There was always another manager who was going to ‘check us out’ who would then give the same sell again, this time at a lower price. They even tried to get us to buy it on credit! They had us trapped because after spending so much time, we wouldn’t walk away without our reward. There were even paid plants- actors made to look like participants who would buy in and then proclaim how crazy anyone would be to not also do so.

I finally got our picnic lunch out of the car for us to eat in the middle of the presentation. I know it was rude but at that point all was fair. That’s why I wasn’t even a bit humiliated when J picked up a cherry tomato, made sure it was throughly dipped in Ranch dressing and chunked it across the table where it landed precisely on salesman # 4′s suit collar. Even as a 2-year-old, she could sense that something wasn’t right about these people.

We finally made it out of there with the Hawaii trip and the cruise. We knew we wouldn’t redeem the Hawaii trip but really wanted to redeem the cruise. At the time, J was unemployed and things weren’t looking too good. Going on a cruise while being unemployed just seemed idiotic. We were so overwhelmed that even meeting the deadlines to register seemed like a difficult task. The idea of being on a cruise seemed like it was for another lifetime. So, we named it our Faith Cruise and set the date for January. With hope and expectation, we prayed that 6 months down the road we would have something, anything to celebrate.

Once again, we are amazed by God’s provision. This is the perfect trip for just the two of us before we welcome our third child into the world. Even amidst  what has continued to be a difficult year, God gives us gifts like these. I hear him say, “I’m with you. Keep pressing on.” Although we picked the date arbitrarily, it was the absolute perfect time. If we had scheduled it 8 weeks later, I would have been too far in the pregnancy to be allowed to board the ship. If we had scheduled it even 3 weeks earlier, I would have been too sick to even warrant going. It truly has turned out to be a Faith Cruise. I can guarantee one thing. There will be on one on that ship with hearts more full of gratitude than ours!


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