Attending a wedding this weekend got me thinking about bride-phobia. You might be thinking, “What is this?”
Bride-Phobia is when you freeze up every time you are around a bride on her wedding day. This is similar to ‘white coat syndrome’ when your blood pressure goes up in the doctor’s office. You inadvertently avoid the bride. You can’t think of anything to talk about with her. No matter how many times you tell yourself how well you know the bride, when you see her, the only thing you can possibly think of to say is, “Oh, you’re so beautiful!” Well, she always is and there is surely something more personal to say; but not for me.
How did something this bizarre happen? It took me awhile to piece it together myself. It all started 9 years ago when I was a bridesmaid in my dear friend Paige’s wedding. I was standing by her just before she walked down the isle to meet the love of her life. She turned to me and said, “Now K, no ‘only a K’ moments in my wedding, ok?” An ‘only a K’ moment was her reference to anything ditsy or air-headed that I might accidentally do. Oh, I felt horrible. In this very special moment in her life, she was worrying about me messing something up. I loved her way too much to let her down.
As I walked slowly down the isle I repeated to myself, “Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.” When we were all standing at the front, I mentally reviewed the rehearsal again. There was only one possible place I could make a mistake. The groomsman opposite me and I were to walk up onto the stage at the same time and the remainder of the wedding party would follow us. For the next few minutes I concentrated only on the groomsman standing across from me. If he even moved an inch, I was going to be with him.
The moment had come, he was off, and I walked up the stairs with him in perfect unison. I turned around. No one had followed and he was gone. I was standing on the stage, alone with my bouquet. What had happened? Now what to do? He had gone over to the side to sing a solo! I totally forgot that part of the rehearsal. So, the only thing for me to do was walk back down the stairs and get back in line, in utter humiliation. I had done it. The very thing Paige asked me not to do! I felt horrible!
The ceremony went on but I could hardly concentrate. I was so nervous again that I would miss my cue. When the groomsman walked up the second time, I paused to make absolutely sure I should follow him. The fatal pause. He got ahead of me so I hurried up the stairs to catch up. I tripped on the edge of my dress and stumbled to my knees on the stairs. Not a flat on the face fall but definitely down to the knees. Is this really happening? The second mistake- so much worse than the first! I wanted to be invisible! Will Paige ever forgive me!?
Of course, Paige’s only response was love, grace and laughter. My response? The beginning of ‘bride-phobia’ which has lasted almost a decade. I might as well accept it and if you ask me to be in your wedding, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
